reading this book now by max lucado called Just like Jesus, and i have to say it is a good book! really made me think abt stuffs which is good i guess :) and well i dunno man its such a hard hill to climb, the hill to calvary, the road that He took in His time on earth, and its like i look at it and i dunno if ill ever make it. but its comforting to know that my Shepherd is there to guide and lead me along :) was reading abt this man tt made it an experiment to think abt God all the time everyday and slowly slowly the presence of God became so part of him tt whenever he din feel God with him he just felt really bereft and lonely. and i wish i could have that too! i mean yah we all know that God is always with us but i also know that most of the day i dun really think abt it and focus on the immediate rather than on the cross that supercedes all the stuff tt is happening arnd me at the present moment. and i dunno lah. stephen and isaiah had the vision clearly in thier minds, the guiding vision that led thier steps and i want that vision too! the vision of the glory of God enthroned. and i guess every christian knows all these stuffs but its really hard to apply it into my life but i really want to! im just afraid of myself. in my quest to see God, i think my greatest obstacles are in myself and tts what kinda makes me stuck because i really have no idea how to get around myself! gosh. dunno lah. thinking is bad!!! haha. but yet good in a way i guess.

anyway im glad we talked abt it lah. tho i dun like talking abt it but well ur rite i need to learn not to run away from stuff all the time :) ur still my number one aight?!

mmm. i went swimming today! yay but im super unfit ok! i couldnt even do 50 laps lah. i stopped at 40 haha. oops. but im glad i went anyway lah. 40 is better than 0 rite! and its a start :) going gym tml too! i think one day i will cycle to laguna den use the treadmill and then swim! yay. triathalon here i come!!! hahaha.

had a nice chat with rachel today :) im glad she is ok hehs. miss her stupid laughs haha.

oh today was the last hop!!! gosh i think ill miss it. it was more than just prayer i think. i mean we do alot of sharing too and praying for one another and cos its a small grp and we all know each other and trust each other alot so i guess to me (cos i dun have a cell) its where i can be prayed for mroe cos i guess i dun really share everything with my girls oso... dunno y lah. haha i guess i just find it hard to share beyond a certain level. dunno! ok thinking is bad haha.

well anyway, im qt pleased with myself today :) happy happy girl